Why do I feel like my Ashtanga Yoga Practice is going backwards
Why do I feel like my Ashtanga Yoga Practice is going backwards?
I was recently asked this question by a student.
My first thought was what constitutes progress in yoga?
Is it a measure of our ability to perform a series of asanas? Or is it the process of stilling our thoughts and cultivating a deeper connection to our Self?
The second point reflects Patanjali’s definition of yoga (YS 1.2), and is similar to the definition of yoga Yama gave Nachiketa in the Katha Upanishad (see earlier post).
Yoga is a state that’s achieved by controlling the senses and stilling the mind.
Like most situations we find ourselves in, progress in practice is not linear. There may be days, weeks or months when things feel great both physically and mentally; or periods when we struggle to get on the mat. There may be times when something that once felt comfortable, suddenly becomes a challenge. Fear not! This is a completely normal part of the journey and something almost everyone encounters.
In the Yoga Sutras Patanjali describes 5 afflictions that hinder our progress on the path of yoga. But before you read on and start to feel disappointed, I’m afraid these aren’t tips on binding Mariychasana D or how to stand up from a dropback.
The Kleshas
According to Patanjali, the five afflictions or impediments on the path of yoga are ignorance, egoism, attraction, aversion and fear of death.
Yogasūtra 2.3
avidyāsmitā-rāga-dveṣābhiniveśāḥ kleśāḥ
The most important of these is ignorance, and it’s the root of the other 4 kleshas. This is not ignorance in the usual sense, but ignorance that arises from mistaking the small self (body and mind) for the big Self, (universal consciousness).
When we are identified with the small self and body/mind complex the ego or sense of ‘I’ is in control. The ego pursues its likes and dislikes, creating attachments and aversions (think about that asana you’re struggling with). All of these ultimately result in suffering because everything, including our physical manifestation, eventually comes to an end.
According to Patanjali all of these attachments prevent us from realising the truth; that we are Consciousness.
Over time the kleshas cause imprints on our consciousness known as samskaras, which influence our belief systems and personality and ultimately create karma, which can be good, bad or neutral.
In Ashtanga yoga by using the tristhana method (breath, asana and dristi) we can begin to become aware of these mental patterns and start to undo those which do not serve us. That’s why we practice the same asanas every day because the practice becomes a mirror that reflects these unconscious patterns back at us.
Breath
If we can learn to control our breath, we can begin to control our mind. Breathing is the only function that is both conscious and unconscious and we can use it to influence our mood and mental state. In our practice the breath allows us to sit with that which is uncomfortable and gives us space between our thoughts, allowing us to become more aware of our attractions and aversions.
Perhaps next time you’re struggling with an asana, experiment by taking your time with it. Rather than pushing to go as deep as you can focus on getting to a certain point and breathing into it. Perhaps even staying beyond five breaths. Pay attention to the thoughts that arise. Much of the time I find it’s these thoughts rather than the asana itself that cause the discomfort.
Asana
Practicing asanas along with the breath stretches and strengthens our body and helps to improve its internal functioning. A better functioning body leads to less mental distractions. However, asana also brings us face-to-face with our ego. No matter who we are, there’s always something we’re working on in practice. We might be struggling to do a posture, or we might crave learning something new. We might even be hard on ourselves because we feel we aren’t progressing quickly enough. Wherever we are the practice teaches us acceptance of our physical abilities, and if we listen carefully it will also teach us something about our ego..
Dristi
Using a dristi or gaze point when we practice encourages svadhyaya or self-study. If our dristi is weak we get distracted, we might start looking around the room (or at the screen), and the ego will come into play again as we begin to compare ourselves with others. Conversely, a strong dristi allows us to turn inwards and withdraw our attention from what’s happening around us, fostering a greater level of understanding.
Ultimately it’s the alchemy of the three aspects of the tristhana practised together over a long period of time that cultivate the connection with the Self, and the understanding that we are part of something bigger. If we keep this knowledge in mind when we practice, we realise that equating proficiency in asana to knowledge of yoga, is simply a manifestation of the kleshas or an obstacle on the path to knowing the Self.