Words matter - how the language you use could make people feel unwelcome in your class
Words matter - how the language you use could make people feel unwelcome in your class
Have you ever said the wrong thing in one of your yoga classes?
I know I have….
There was the time when I asked someone if they were pregnant (they weren’t)
The (probably many times) I told people rather sternly that’s not how we do it in Ashtanga
And I’m sure many other occasions have slipped my mind or I wasn’t aware of at the time.
As yoga teachers we want our words to inspire practitioners to find a deeper connection with themselves through their bodies.
We want our words to make people feel safe and welcome in our classes.
The last thing we want to do is make people feel like yoga isn’t for them, make them feel alienated or traumatised in any way.
So why is it that we can often end up saying the wrong thing?
The words we use reflect our life experiences, our culture, our identity and our internal biases. Whilst it can be easy to assume the way we experience the world is universal, this isn’t the case.
We make assumptions based on our experience all the time and these assumptions aren’t always accurate.
Some common assumptions might be that everyone;
celebrates the same holidays,
has the same type of family unit or relationship,
feels the same things in their body,
has the same experiences with authority,
or comes from the same socioeconomic background.
In training to be a counsellor, some of the most important work we do is around understanding our identity and internal biases, and how other people’s identities might affect their experience of life. This is important work, particularly if we have a job, like teaching yoga, that involves working with people.
If we can expand our understanding we’re more likely to come from a place of empathy. We’re less likely to project our experience onto other people or speak from a place that reflects our internal biases.
If we don’t do this work it can show up in the language we use and this can make people feel excluded from our classes.
So how can you avoid making the mistakes I made and do your best to make your students feel welcome in your classes?
Here are 7 ways you can make people feel welcome in your class and encourage them to have an embodied experience.
Avoid creating a hierarchy for Asana
I remember when I first started practising yoga I’d go to a class where the teacher would always ask the same student in the front row to demonstrate the “advanced’ version of the asana she was teaching. I have no idea how this person felt being singled out but it made me feel like I wasn’t doing it right because I wasn’t able to “perform” like the person in the front row. Eventually, I stopped going to that class.
Of course, some asanas are more challenging than others and some take time to master. However, when you teach, if you constantly refer to “beginners” and “advanced” versions you can end up creating a hierarchy of yoga poses and alienating students in the process.
As teachers, we know yoga is much more about what’s happening on the inside than how we look in asanas; but constantly offering beginner and advanced options can send a message to students that yoga is about the shapes we can pull. This could make students feel like they aren’t good enough or that they’re bad at yoga if they aren’t doing the “advanced” shapes.
What can you do instead…..
Rather than saying things like “If you can’t do this…try this”….Practice explaining the options for each asana neutrally without making one option seem like the “correct” or “ideal” option. Then encourage practitioners to choose the option that works for them. You might even suggest that they try more than one option if they are unsure what works for them.
Avoid using filler words like “just” or “simple”
Using words like “just’ and “simple” minimises how hard something is. For example;
“just pop into headstand”
“just lay down and rest”
or
“ if you can’t do Urdhva Dhanaurasana just try a simple bridge”.
it’s unlikely these things are easy for everyone in your class and using words like “just’ and ‘simple’ can come across as ableist because it implies that they should be.
What you can do instead…..
Pay attention to how much you use filler words like “just’ and “simple” then train yourself to remove them from your teaching vocabulary.
Reduce your use of commanding language
Commanding language is great if we want to get a message across quickly and succinctly and maintain the flow of a class. It is also helpful if you’re explaining how to get into a particular asana. However, if we use it all the time it can create the impression there is only way one to practice yoga which of course we know there isn’t.
What you can say instead
Use invitational language and offer choices
Using invitational language and offering choices provides space for attendees in your class to consider how or if they would like to move. This shifts the power away from you as the teacher and rests it with the student/practitioner.
This is particularly important in a trauma-informed setting because relational trauma is about coercion and removal of choice.
It’s also important in regular yoga classes because it encourages practitioners to consider what works for them and advocate for their own best interests rather than doing what they think the teacher wants them to do.
Some examples could be saying things like
“Maybe you could try X or X”.
or Offering choices for how to take rest at the end of class.
In the Mysore room, it could look like offering a choice about when to learn the next asana or whether or not practitioners want to join in for the chant.
Avoid gendered pronouns
Unless we ask, we have no idea of people's pronouns and making incorrect assumptions can make people feel unseen and alienated.
What to say instead…..
Try learning everyone’s names and using them in class, it makes people feel seen and helps build a connection with your students.
If like me, you have a terrible memory try writing down the names of new students. It makes them easier to remember. The next time the person comes to a session you can go back through your notes and find their name. People are often pleasantly surprised when they’ve only attended once and you remember their name.
Skip gendered cues as well
I was once told by a male Ashtanga teacher (not my teacher) that I’d never be able to come up from Karandavadasana because I was a woman and my bum was too big…not only was this sexist but he was wrong.
It took me a while but I can do it pretty well these days.
Had I taken on what this teacher said I might’ve stopped trying. His words were the opposite of inspirational.
Making comments like this teacher did or saying things like “the men in the room might find this easier” when referring to asanas that require more strength assumes there is a standard body type for male and female gendered bodies which we know is not the case. It also ignores the experience of non-binary people.
What to say instead
I would leave out any assumptions about what people can and can’t do. Stick to offering choices neutrally and allow practitioners to explore for themselves.
Avoid Using metaphors
Metaphors can act as powerful emotional triggers. Whilst these can often be positive experiences, a misplaced metaphor could trigger a traumatic emotional response. As an example “Cradle your leg and rock it like a baby” could potentially take someone back to the trauma of losing a child.
Metaphors also leave room to be misinterpreted. I once heard a yoga teacher say “Puff out your kidneys”. I really had no idea what they meant and it totally took me out of my body into my head to try to figure it out.
What to say instead
Instead of using metaphors use cues that focus on ways of moving the body. Celeste Pereria, the yoga physio talks about the effectiveness of using external cues like “reach your hands out as if you’re trying to touch the walls” as well as internal cues such as “ squeeze your glutes” to encourage a more embodied experience.
Another way of facilitating an increased sense of embodiment is by using cues that refer to actions as taking place in “your” body rather than “the” body. This is part of the TCTSY method and is based on feedback from practitioners in trauma-sensitive yoga classes who felt using “your” improved their sense of interoception and facilitated a more embodied experience. It’s something I always do in my classes because I feel it’s more personal and helps people get in touch with their bodies.
Finally….
This is by no means a complete list and there are many other ways you might use language to make students feel welcome and increase their sense of embodiment.
